a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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