Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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