Me too!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Randomize
