New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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