u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Randomize
