she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize