1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
