I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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