He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
