Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
ugly people sure do ruin things
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She bit a glass in half.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
