Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
