Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize