he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
