Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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