ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
