No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
