jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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