Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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