I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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