if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize