How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
