I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
