I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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