I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You pole danced in your parka.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
