before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
