My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
