Sry I called you an 8
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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