playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
