His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
