someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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