Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize