pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
