we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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