weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
