It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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