she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
