Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize