I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I think people are normalizing furries
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize