the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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