I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
