Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
