I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
