At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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