I want to have your abortion
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
