He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
