Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
