i jhust puked up my retainher.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My vagina is officially offended.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
