i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Boobs speak an international language.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
