just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
