If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
there is glitter all over my balls
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