What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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