did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
oh god the rape fog is back!
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
