i jhust puked up my retainher.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
