ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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