Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
