yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
