OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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