High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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