You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize