Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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