Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
nutella sex= disaster
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Randomize
