Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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