he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
