Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
