hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
