Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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